It isn’t every day you go on your honeymoon and while I have been accused of having too many holidays (in general and also to fancy/luxury places) that I will have spoiled expectations of my honeymoon and the pressure will be on to outdo a “normal” holiday for us.
Well, I had been ill and reassessed my life and direction so I embarked on a new adventure and our honeymoon moved from 9 months to plan to 2 weeks. We had flights booked to Hawaii but changed the dates so we could go between my work adventures.
Hawaii and Canada. Minds made up. 16 days was too long for Hawaii and we have never been to Canada so it seemed like a great plan to split the stay. We would fly in to Honolulu, stay 3 nights but 4 full days due to flight times, then fly on to Vancouver. From there we have a hire car booked to drop off 8 days later in Montreal, a flight from Montreal to Maui for 2 nights at one of my most memorable hotels – Hotel Wailea which has been upgraded since our original stay – and one final night in Waikiki before our early fight home.
Solid plan, apart from the 5000km drive in 8 days but we were excited for the trip and our first actual road trip adventure together.
Robert, my Halekulani rep provided me with a great rate for a last-minute booking and we decided to spend our time in Waikiki at both of his resorts. Halekulani on our arrival for 3 nights and Waikiki Parc Hotel for our final night on the way home.
Honeymoon sorted, Hawaii and a Canadian Road trip
Triston has just dropped from Platinum status, I lost mine late last year, with Qantas Frequent Flyer so we weren’t super excited about the airport experience. Qantas business class lounge at the airport is great – as long as you had never been into the first-class lounge. There is a big step between the two and having been locals of the first class lounge for a few years now, business class was a less than exciting prospect. It did, however, fill the void between clearing security and the flight departing.
Our flight was Jetstar economy and I had been offered an upgrade the day after I changed the flights, we didn’t decide on it until the offer expired so economy we flew. We forgot to ask at check-in for better seats or if we could still pay for an upgrade so it was only once we were on board that we found out we were in the middle seats, both with an aisle, and a stranger between us.
The Jetstar Dreamliner is a nice enough plane, I prefer bumpy flights because of my motion sickness. Smoothing out turbulence makes me feel like I am in a boat which I have a problem with, rollercoasters are fine. The flight went well, lots of kids but no real noise and when there was noise, it was everyone all at once and just that once. Not one person here and another there and an annoyance the entire flight. That was handy.
Shortly after meal service is where everything went down hill. Not to say it was bad food because we don’t know yet if it was food poisoning and while it was chicken on the flight it could have been other food we had eaten.
What’s a honeymoon without drama
I went to sleep-ish, I am a window girl so being on an aisle and not next to Triston made it very difficult. Each time I woke I would look over to Triston. I noticed most of the time he was not there but I was unaware of the time frame. I looked over, he wasn’t there. Next time I looked he nor the stranger in the middle were there.
Then the stranger was back but Triston still was not there. I assumed these had been big time frames or all within 20 minutes. Like Triston was just standing out of the way while the guy in the middle got up and went to the bathroom himself and he had just sat himself down and Triston was about to re-seat himself. I was mildly concerned and in my next dream the worry came out so when I woke and he was there I held his arm.
Triston then passed me a note – I have been vomiting – like 7 times already. I put the call button on and waited. I looked at the map to see her far we were – 3 hours to go. It took almost half an hour for someone to respond to the call button/light. In that time Triston had been up vomiting twice. He was in the bathroom when the staff member arrived, I asked for sick bags and explained Triston had been very ill but because he wasn’t the person sitting directly next to me, even though I said we were travelling together, there was little concern. He rummaged through other seatback pockets and handed me one sick bag. I said I would need more and he said ok and left. Never to return.
40 minutes before landing Triston was again out of his seat. He had spent maybe 20 minutes total in it since handing me the note. I went to find him. Waiting by toilets that were occupied until each person left, only to find one by one, they were not him. I went down the back and found a staff member and complained that no one had been to help.
He was very ill. He had not been offered water or a more convenient seat. No one checked to see if this was something he was going to pass onto other passengers.
I complained that I asked for help more than 2 hours ago. I had sat and waited, looking up and down the aisles for the staff member that was going to make this problem less of an issue. She handed me more sick bags and asked where he was. At that moment he left the toilet near us. I said this is him.
The announcement for everyone including staff to be seated had already been made so I returned to my seat, waiting anxiously for Triston to return to his.
He didn’t return to his seat
We landed and as every person got off the plane I sat. I wondered. I worried.
Was he so ill he passed out?
Was he just sitting at the back?
Did he fall? Was he injured?
Were they doing CPR? There was no announcement for people to wait seated for the medical emergency so I must assume he is ok.
Fear is not rational. I still worried, knowing he was most likely fine and just seated at the back of the plane, because I didn’t know for sure that he was ok.
Where is he?
Finally, he appears. We are now, by some distance, last off the plane, last into immigration, I got changed in the toilets as I was wearing PJs and Triston took that time to change out of his vomit covered shirt. He vomited in the toilets for good measure.
Immigration wasn’t too bad because the lines were down by the time we were ready to go through. Our bags were out and off to the side of the baggage belt because they were getting it ready to be set as unclaimed/lost luggage. Our customs screening was also quick and simple – no lines.
We had a driver booked, he was waiting. He was wonderful. We told him of Triston’s illness and we spoke of Waikiki and dodgy back streets. Dog the bounty hunter taught us how dodgy the areas can be, it turns out he was one of the drivers for Dog during filming. We had a laugh. Triston was grey, cold and sweaty but he chuckled. He spoke of how busy it had been because of some “Joint Travel or Flight Client or something” – me – Flight Centre – yes that was it. They just had a big convention so the hotels were busy. Oh I know the one, Flight Centre Global Ball. Yes a lot of people go. He told us of how busy the hotels were but car companies were experiencing a decline. Hmm, figures, cheapskates.
The single best thing we did was have our driver booked. We never do this. it cost a bomb. It was worth every penny. I booked through the hotel. It was then noted our arrival was early and departure was late and check in access requested. I am sure this helped us a little.
Halekulani a great way to start a honeymoon
We arrived at the hotel to an amazingly friendly welcome. Triston took a seat and I wandered over to Reception. I was explaining, poorly, how Triston was sick so I would like to know where a bathroom as if he needed it and as we were early was there any chance of using the hospitality suite that is for these events. Triston came over during this and asked for the bathroom. Reception was trying to check availability for a room for us for immediate check-in because I had confused the situation. Triston needed a toilet, right then or probably 5 minutes ago as it turned out. He explained he just needed to use the bathroom now and she explained where to go and would look for a room for early check-in.
Moments later a room is assigned and we are ready to check into our room, almost 8 hours early. We wait for Triston to return. And we wait. The service at Halekulani is exceptional so concerned that we have been waiting, I offered a seat and when Triston is ready they can take us to our room.
I sit, I wait and I get worried. I go to find Triston. Not entirely sure where he is, I loiter near the toilet. I linger half way between the toilet and the reception then I go back towards the toilets, think better of it and sit. There is nothing worse than spending a long time in a bathroom only to leave and realise someone was timing you.
Becoming one with bathrooms
Just to make sure he was still alive I try to call on Facebook. Calling isn’t the best idea so I start to send a message to say the room is ready. Also trying to explain that if he is comfortable enough to leave the bathroom we can get to another fairly quickly. Then he can stay for the rest of the day. As I am typing I turn to find him walking towards me. Phew.
Triston doesn’t know yet that the room is ready, so I tell him it is. He says to me he had to chuck out his undies. I laugh in disgust and ask why but we are back at reception and he says he will fill me in later.
Our bags are already in the room by the time we get there. Amazing. We have no cash for tips – queue guilt. A quick overview of the room, we are left for Triston to explain what he meant.
The story, while Triston was sitting, waiting for me to check in, he had to fart. The fart was a bad idea and loaded. That was why he had asked for a bathroom, why he was desperate for it now and why he had taken so long in the toilet. He pooped is pants at one of the nicest hotels in Waikiki.
The almost poop chair
I laughed. He is gross. I asked if it went through his pants. Yes, slightly he says. I asked if he wet the seat he was on. No. Luckily. What would we have done if he pooped the couch. I mean. What would anyone do if their new husband had soberly pooped the couch. I don’t know. I understand maybe people with kids have experienced this. Fully functioning adults. I am not sure how often that happens.
The rest of our first 24 hours was spent in the bathroom as now he had diarrhoea and vomiting or in bed. We had tablets on hand so he took those.
Canada doesn’t seem like such a great idea anymore. 16 days in Hawaii doesn’t seem too long. We will probably fly rather than drive from Vancouver to Montreal but we are waiting to see how Triston feels before changing anything.
The first 24 hours of our Honeymoon complete.
Honeymoon first 24 hours was 21st July 2017
Originally posted 23rd July 2017
Updated 29 October 2019